Robin Thicke’s Quest to ‘Get Her Back’ and the Terrifying Reality of Stalking

By Jamilah King Jun 25, 2014

Somebody free Paula Patton. The actress has been estranged from her husband, Robin Thicke, for months, but that hasn’t stopped Thicke from going on an embarrassing, full-fledged campaign to "get her back." He’s named his upcoming album "Paula" and this week released a creepy video for the album’s first single called "Get Her Back." It’s awful. Humiliating. And, as Jessica Valenti writes at the Guardian, creepy:

None of us know the ins and outs of the Patton and Thicke’s relationship outside of what’s public – they were high school sweethearts and they have a child together. But romanticizing the creepy and potentially harassing efforts of a man obsessed with this ex sends a dangerous message to young men about what "romance" really is. Hint: it has nothing to do with haranguing and publicly shaming us back into a relationship.

Syreeta at Feministing points out that stalking can be deadly:

One in six women in the US have experienced stalking in their lifetime. The majority of victims are stalked by someone they know, and 66 percent of female victims are stalked by a current or former intimate partner.

The crappiest part of this hot mess video are that the images reinforce the cultural norms that say this kind of harassment is actually romantic. 

And as the Belle Jar points out, Thicke’s album tracklist is like "reading an abuser’s check-list. She’s his fantasy. He needs to get her back. He’ll isolate her, maybe refuse to let her leave. He’ll lock the door. He’ll do whatever he wants. Because love can grow back. Because it’s a forever love."