John Amaechi to Kobe: ‘You Did Serious Damage With Your Outburst’

In a powerful New York Times piece, the former NBA player says it's time to stop the lame apologies.

By Julianne Hing Apr 15, 2011

John Amaechi, the former center for the Utah Jazz, the Orlando Magic and the Cleveland Cavaliers, was the first NBA player to publicly come out when he announced that he was gay in 2007. Today Amaechi responded Kobe Bryant in the New York Times, who was fined $100,000 by the NBA last Thursday for calling a referee "a fucking faggot" after a call. Bryant has since apologized, but said he plans to appeal the fine.

In his response, Amaechi asks Bryant, and all of us, to consider the power that hate and language have to demean other people. He also tells Bryant to quit it with the half-assed apologies. 

I challenge you to freeze-frame Bryant’s face in that moment of conflict with the referee Bennie Adams. Really examine the loathing and utter contempt, and realize this is something with which almost every lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender person is familiar. That is the sentiment people face in middle and high schools, in places of worship, work and even in their own homes across the United States.

Right now in America young people are being killed and killing themselves simply because of the words and behaviors they are subjected to for being perceived as lesbian or gay, or frankly just different. This is not an indictment of the individuals suffocated by their mistreatment, it is an indication of the power of that word, and others like it, to brutalize and dehumanize. This F-word, which so many people seem to think is no big deal, is the postscript to too many of those lives cut short.

As for the original apology, I am amazed that people still think apologizing in such a way as to make it clear that it was the victims who misunderstood is acceptable. I had hoped that the sorry-if-you-are-oversensitive school of apology would by now have been thoroughly discredited.

Many people balk when L.G.B.T. people, even black ones, suggest that the power and vitriol behind another awful slur — the N-word — is no different from the word used by Kobe. I make no attempt at an analogy between the historical civil rights struggle for blacks in the United States with the current human rights struggle for L.G.B.T. people, but I can say that I am frequently called both, and the indignation, anger and at times resignation that course through my body are no greater or less for either. I know with both words the intent is to let me know that no matter how big, how accomplished, philanthropic or wise I may become, to them I am not even human.

Read the rest at the New York Times.