Ann Althouse Can’t Even Write Her Own Offensive Michelle Obama Captions

By Channing Kennedy Jun 09, 2009

Hotshot right-wing blogger Ann Althouse is hosting a caption contest for this high-larious photo of Michelle Obama and Carla Bruni. Here’s the photo: Can you think up something funny? No pressure, because Althouse’s readers have you covered. From the comments (and this is a small, small sample): “You’re *Italian*, bitch; stop frontin’ like y’all French ‘n shit.” “What ‘chu talkin ’bout, ho?” "Ho!" “White bitch better step the fuck off.” "I hate skinny white girls." “Die white bitch.” Zing! Ethan Porter at True/Slant takes apart the mindset of the sort of person whose most earnest attempt at humor produces "I could eat you like last night’s barbeque."

To Althouse’s readers, all that seems to matter about Michelle is her race. The fact that she’s black leads them to imagine her speaking in some variation of Ebonics–never mind that Michelle simply doesn’t speak that way. The fact that she’s black leads them to imagine her as some kind of angry, grievance-bearing black woman–although planting vegetable gardens and raising two daughters is a far cry from railing against white power. Above all, to Althouse’s reader, the fact that Michelle is black means that she secretly harbors fantasies of killing white women. I’m not going to dignify that kind of thinking by pointing out there’s no evidence. It’s a deeply racist delusion. Has Althouse denounced these readers? Not as far as I can tell. The granddaddy of the right-wing blogosphere, Glenn Reynolds, has even linked to the caption contest. Pardon me if I fail to see the humor.

Now clearly it would be improper for me to use this blog as a space to point out that ‘Ann Althouse’ sounds like ‘An Outhouse,’ but feel free to do it in the comments.