RANT: What’s sovereignty?
Well, uh, it’s sovereignty. At an August conference for journalists of color, a Native American reporter asked George Bush what tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century. His response to the bemused journalists: “Tribal sovereignty means that, it’s sovereign. You’re a…you’re a… you have been given sovereignty and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity.”
RAVE: “You have been soverized.”
In a press conference, Jesse Jackson clowned Bush’s remarks on tribal sovereignty. The civil rights leader ripped: “The President explained. You just didn’t understand. Sovereignty is sovereignty. You understand? It’s like in sovereignity. If you are on a reservation, you have been soverized. Your Ph.D. is in soverbication” -before keeling over in laughter.
RANT: Honorable racial slurs?
On the outskirts of Fannett, Texas, there is a little ol’ path with a not-so-subtle name: they call it Jap Road. Town historians say the road was named in 1905 to “honor” an early Japanese immigrant, Yoshio Mayumi, who introduced rice farming to the region. Mayumi, who was a member of the Japanese parliament before coming to Texas, was forced to sell his land and return to Japan when anti-Asian hostility led to the Immigration Act of 1924 that effectively blocked immigration from Asia.
RAVE: Easier to pronounce.
The commissioners of Jefferson County, Texas, voted unanimously to change the name of Jap Road in July, after a decade-long campaign by civil rights groups. Although the obvious replacement would have been to use the actual name of the Japanese immigrant the road was supposedly honoring, the residents settled on “Boondocks Road” instead, because it was easier to pronounce than “Mayumi.” The name change didn’t sit well with one resident who complained, “It’s like me suing Keebler or Nabisco because the word ‘cracker’ is offensive to us white people.”
RANT: No lessons learned from L.A., 1992.
Conflict has been brewing in Washington, D.C., between blacks and Koreans over…T-shirts? A number of local urban wear clothing lines have faced serious competition from Jung Won Kang, a local businessman who is selling his Visionz line cheaper. Black-owned clothing lines have allied to form the Unity Clothing Association and have stoked antagonism against Asians through fliers claiming that they “RAPE the Urban community.”
RAVE: “I’m rich, bitch.”
Hilarious, race-conscious comedian Dave Chappelle renewed his contract with Comedy Central for $50 million over the next two years. At nearly $2 million per episode, the deal makes him one of the highest-paid entertainers on TV. Shaquille O’Neal got $88 million over three years, and he can’t even make free throws. If anyone deserves the cash, it’s Dave. But why is he worth so much? Because white folks love Dave Chappelle, too. It’s true.
RANT: Green card lottery: an X-treme sport?
Contestants on a Spanish-language reality TV show try to out-do each other with disgusting and dangerous feats like swallowing tequila worms or jumping across moving trucks. The winner of “Gana La Verde” (Win the Green) gets a green card. Well, not exactly. They get the services of an immigration lawyer who will try to get them a green card. And the show’s producers get a lot of ad revenue.
RAVE: Puerto Ri-co! Ho!
The small island territory humiliated the U.S. Olympic basketball team (made up of NBA stars) in a blowout in Athens. Colonized people haven’t been this excited since Senegal beat France, its former colonizer, in the 2002 soccer World Cup. Or since the Indian villagers beat the British in a cricket match over colonial taxes in 1893. OK, fine, that was just a Bollywood movie. If only the Olympics were a reality show, and the prize for the winner were independence.
RANT: Single White Supremacist Seeks Same.
William Regnery, the white nationalist publisher of The Occidental Quarterly, has plans to create a dating service for “heterosexual whites of Christian cultural heritage.” Of course, similar interests are always important for any good date. The survival of the white race, Regnery says, “depends upon our people marrying, reproducing and parenting.”
RAVE: Signed, Sealed, Delivered.
The U.S. Postal Service unveiled a stamp in honor of the late gay African American writer, James Baldwin. Born in Harlem, he wrote directly about racism and homophobia and inspired countless civil rights marchers with his 1963 volume The Fire Next Time.
RANT: No meritocracy for comic strips.
In an apparent response to the popularity of left-of-center comics like “The Boondocks” and “Doonesbury,” a new conservative comic strip—“Prickly City”—rolled out in July. Before the first frame was ever printed, it had already secured a spot in over 40 newspapers, including the Los Angeles Times and the Chicago Tribune. Oh, and the lead character, Carmen, is a girl of color.
RAVE: More than Huey & Riley.
As if coming up with biting humor daily for “The Boondocks” weren’t enough, Aaron MacGruder gives us a comic novel, Birth of a Nation. In the book, the black residents of East St. Louis secede from the U.S. and rename the town “Blackland.” Also, a new weekly comic about South Asian Americans, “Badmash,” has us cracking up with its sharp, political wit. (http://www.badmash.org)
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